Drolz Uncensored

All right, this is it. Drolz Uncensored is the place where caution gets thrown to the wind. As a former columnist for three national Deaf newspapers, I had a lot of fun... but I also had to behave myself. Not anymore.

There's no limit to what might be said in Drolz Uncensored. Initially there'll be some blasts from the past, favorite articles that were well-received and thus re-posted here.

You'll also find my own twisted perception of current events going on in the deaf community and the world in general.

Does "uncensored" mean keep the kids away, there'll be language that would make a longshoreman blush? Absolutely... NOT.

Instead, you'll find articles and commentary that are thrown in as written, on the spot, without any editing or concern about whether or not it's politically correct. It'll be more risky, and therefore more fun.

Enjoy!

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

In a caffeine-induced stupor, Drolz explains why a deaf advocate's job is never finished.

Guest Writers Page at Deaf Culture Online

Guest writers offer their articles and insights at Mark Drolsbaugh's Deaf Culture Online website

Mainstreaming vs Deaf School (Baseball Version)

One kid, two different experiences, and a picture that says a thousand words.

National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders: Offensive?

National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders: Am I the only one who's offended? A name change might be in order...

We're All Nuts

We're all nuts. On the deaf or hearing blogosphere, it makes no difference. Nuts galore, period.

Academic Freedom

Academic Freedom: How deaf children (or any children, for that matter) ought to be taught in the classroom.

The Deaf Bilingual Coalition: More Advocacy Needed, and Here's Why

A real life example of why we need the Deaf Bilingual Coalition to advocate on behalf of American Sign Language

A Challenge for DBC and AGB

A challenge for the Deaf Bilingual Coalition and Alexander Graham Bell Association for the Deaf to find common ground

George Carlin 1937-2008

George Carlin checked out too soon - amidst an eerie coincidence - and will be sorely missed. But he's leaving his mark on deaf literature.

Just Deaf

An interesting parallel between Deaf culture and Indian culture, political correctness be damned.

Olympic-sized Differences

Welcome to the Olympics: A Clash between Cultures, Values and Greed

Welcome to the Recycle Zone

Thanks to some exciting behind-the-scenes developments, Drolz Uncensored needs to turn into Drolz Recycled.

At the moment I'm working on a new book assignment. It's a beaut. It's a collaboration with two people who have the guts to say whatever's on their minds. We're aiming for this thing to be done in November.

I'll be posting some new updates from time to time. You'll get to meet the mystery team I'm working with and there'll be links to some of their material.

There's also an upcoming presentation at Gallaudet in June (I know, I know... I keep swearing I'm done with presentations and keep winding up with just one more).

All of these developments will put Drolz Uncensored on the backburner a bit. But fear not. I'm digging into the vault for some oldies but goodies that haven't been on this website before, stuff from my old days as a newspaper columnist.

Have a great summer, everyone!

Drolz

Dancing With Nothing in my Ear

Aw, crap! Mere hours after I wrote a tongue-in-cheek article about Marlee Matlin's impact on my kids, she got eliminated from Dancing With the Stars. As much as I was kidding around about Sweet Nothing in my Ear, I'd like to add that I'd become a hardcore Dancing With the Stars fan. (This is a huge confession coming from a guy whose TV is usually locked on ESPN.)

You can debate about movies all you want. You can argue that this character or that character should have done this or should have done that.

But the fact remains that movie characters are just that: characters. Who they are on the big screen is determined by a script. The real individual remains hidden behind his or her role.

But on a show like Dancing With the Stars, you get to see what a person is really made of.

I'd heard of Dancing With the Stars before but never watched it. I thought it was just another one of those shows where celebrities make fools of themselves. But when Marlee Matlin and Adam Carolla (my hero from The Man Show) signed up for this there was no way I could resist.

And find out what Marlee was made of, we sure did. I never knew dancing could be so hard. The concentration, the coordination, the athleticism, the precision, and the endless hours of practice that go into it absolutely boggled my mind.

So when Marlee took on this challenge it was easy to point to the TV and show my kids a real role model. Marlee more than held her own and it was this appearance on what's essentially a reality show that gave my kids a great lesson in life.

A few weeks ago when Carolla was eliminated, he revealed why he put himself through something that was way out of the ordinary for him. He emphasized that challenging yourself to do things you've never done before, seizing the moment, and enjoying every second of it is what life is all about.

I agree 100%. And that's why Marlee had my family glued to the TV. From the Drolz household, she gets a big handwave and two thumbs up.

Thanks a Lot, Marlee!

I'm not going to rehash Sweet Nothing in My Ear as enough people have done that already. But geez, look what it did to my kids!

Darren, my 9-year-old deaf son who faced the same issue, just watched the show for about 5 minutes. He's a big fan of Marlee Matlin but it's got nothing to do with the movie. He's in awe (as am I) with what she's doing on Dancing With the Stars. I just wanted him to see her, as a deaf role model, in another role. He smiled, and then after a few minutes switched the channel back to the Phillies game. No argument from me. We've been through enough. Don't want to watch it all over again.

In the meantime Brandon, age 6, stayed up past his bedtime to watch a good 30 or 45 minutes downstairs with my wife Melanie. Brandon's the kid who we thought was also going deaf, but a recent follow-up indicated that fluid in his ear receded and his hearing is back to where it was.

As Brandon went to bed he started complaining. "I don't want to ride the school bus tomorrow," he said. When asked to elaborate, he said the other kids on the bus talk too loud.

"Does it hurt your ears?" I asked. "You can wear earplugs if you want." He nodded affirmatively.

Aren't we weird? I have a kid who wants a cochlear UNplant.

"I don't like it when they talk," Brandon continued. Then he dropped the bombshell.

"I wish they all were signing."

Melanie later explained that Brandon was thrilled to see so many people signing in the movie. Thanks a lot, Marlee! Now my hearing son is messed up. But in a good way. I love it.

And back to Darren: One thing a lot of people objected about the movie was that the 8-year-old boy was not involved in the process. Call it an omission in the plot, if you will, but I'm glad it happened. People took notice and now they're screaming Hey, doesn't the kid himself have a say in the matter? Sometimes when you screw something up, more people become aware of an important issue. No need to dot all the i's and cross all the t's.

And I sleep better at night knowing that Darren had total input with our own little CI discussion.

Drolz Censored by Discover

When my wife made a VRS call to activate our new Discover card, she ran into a roadblock.

I never use Discover. But Melanie had the card issued in my name -- something she likes to do to give the impression that I'm the one calling the shots in this household (BWA-HAHAHAHA!!!).

So the folks at Discover said sorry, they needed to talk to me first. Melanie then grabbed me and threw me in front of the videophone.

"You sign, too?" they asked.

"Well, duh, yes." The VRS interpreter actually had to reign herself in to keep from laughing.

But what followed wasn't really funny. It seems that the rep at Discover wasn't comfortable with using VRS. More specifically, there was a trust issue. So the rep asked a ton of top-level security questions.

"What's your mother's maiden name?"

"What's your date of birth?"

"Can you give me the last 4 digits of your social security number?"

"Where were you living when that number was issued?"

"How old are you?"

"Where were you the evening of Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction?"

I answered as best as I could. I did everything but send in a urine sample.

"Umm," the rep sighed. "I'm going to have to ask you to go to a Sears or a Wal-mart, show your identification, and they will phone in and verify you are who you say you are."

My wife looked at me and sighed. The hell with 'em.

"Never mind," I said. The interpreter did everything in her power to resist banging her head on the desk after all of this (not to mention being put on hold for several minutes).

That's the great thing about having a blog -- when crazy things happen to you, you can go online and tell the world.

Although I thought it was kind of funny the way VRS gave Discover the heebie-jeebies, it serves as a sad reminder that we live in an age of Internet fraud. It's reached the point where scammers have ruined it for people who are trying to conduct bona fide business transactions. Now we have to roll up our sleeves and go on an advocating frenzy again. Sucks, doesn't it?

Evolution of a Deaf Attitude

Evolution of a Deaf Attitude: Being Deaf is a Choice, Too.

Evolution of a Cochlear Implant Attitude

A deaf parent is told that his deaf child may be an ideal candidate for a cochlear implant. He then decides to...

NCSD: Opening a Pandora's Box

There's more to the squelched NCSD protest than we could ever imagine. A lot more.

Deaf Militant in Training

The future president of Gallaudet University -- a deaf militant in training -- makes sure she's deaf enough for the job.

Deaf Again Autoresponder Course - Totally Revamped!

A quick update regarding the Deaf Again autoresponder course: It's been totally overhauled (format-wise, not content-wise).

Instead of getting seven lengthy emails, subscribers will now be redirected to password-protected web pages that are a lot easier on the eyes.

This material is from the actual Deaf Again presentation that's drawn rave reviews for the past ten years.

Why am I making this private material available for those who want to access it?

Because it's damn good, and I don't really have the time to go on the lecture circuit anymore. I'd rather have this material available online for the time being instead of gathering dust in my office.

For the ASL teachers out there who are incorporating Deaf Again into your respective curriculums, you might want to direct your students to this autoresponder course for an up-close look at the issues in the book. There's a lot of great behind-the-scenes topics for discussion.

Click the link below and have fun!

Best regards, Drolz

A People to Call Home

A People to Call Home reveals the intangibles that hold the Deaf community together

I Dated a Deaf Porn Star

A fledgling deaf porn business brings forth some controversial privacy issues

Deaf Again Autoresponder Course

A 7-part autoresponder course based on Mark Drolsbaugh's popular Deaf Again book and presentation

Deficit-thinking Gets Smashed to Smithereens

A brief interaction obliterates deficit-thinking from the mind of an 8-year-old deaf child

Back by Popular Demand: Deaf Thanksgiving

Yes, it's THAT time of the year. Thanksgiving marks the start of the holiday season. It also marks the beginning of a period where deaf people everywhere often gather with friends and relatives who don't know ASL. It can be a maddening, thumb-twiddling experience.

Fortunately, there's a solution to this annual mess. By popular demand, I'm re-posting last year's Deaf Thanksgiving article. Click on the link below and have a GREAT holiday season!

Best regards, Drolz

The Greatest Irony: Greater Than I Thought

At the recent National ASLTA conference in Tampa, FL (Oct 25-28), I had the honor of attending both the keynote address and the closing address by Ella Mae Lentz. Sure, I'd seen her vlogs (one of my favorites is "Elephant in the Room") but... to see her in person, WOW!

There's no way I can repeat everything she said in my humble little blog. Let me just say I haven't picked my jaw off the floor yet. She was absolutely mesmerizing and thought-provoking.

I will, however, give you one little tidbit. Perhaps you've read some of my earlier blog entries related to the Deaf Bilingual Coalition. Or, most likely, you've probably seen DBC blogs and announcements here and there. And, no doubt, most of you have seen Amy Cohen Efron's famous "Greatest Irony" vlog.

But during Ella's closing address, she mentioned a statistic that made me realize "The Greatest Irony" is greater than I ever thought.

We all know it's ironic how hearing parents are now teaching their hearing babies ASL due to research-proven benefits such as early language acquisition and cognitive development (the irony being that many deaf babies -- who need ASL the most -- are often denied such an opportunity).

But it's not only babies. From 1998 to 2002, Ella pointed out, enrollment in higher-education ASL classes increased 482%!

Now we've got hearing babies and hearing college students signing everywhere. Awesome, I love it.

But let's keep making sure our deaf babies and deaf students don't slip through the cracks.

ASL is a beautiful language. For everyone, deaf and hearing alike.

The Worst Parents Ever

The Worst Parents Ever: Overindulgence Gone Bad

Deaf Again II: Going Deaf and Getting Kicked Out of a Hotel

8 Year Old Darren Drolsbaugh shares his thoughts about going deaf and getting kicked out of the 2007 AG Bell conference

Deaf Culture Online News and Updates

Deaf Culture Online's Latest News, Updates, and Announcements

Madness at the Marriott

Miscommunications galore with an insensitive hotel security guard

Should We Have a Funeral for the 'D-word'?

Is it really appropriate to have famous deaf athletes named "Dummy?"

Book Reviews at Deaf Culture Online

Highly recommended books from the creators of Deaf Culture Online

Sign Language in Schools (or lack thereof)

An argument in favor of incorporating sign language classes in schools everywhere

That's it: VOICE OFF!

In response to the several responses in response to the people who wrote about hard of hearing folks having an advantage because they can speak... I beg to differ. (And pardon me, I can't resist making fun of the "in response" frenzy that's so rampant in DeafRead.com. Really, I love it there.)

I think speech ability is a benefit ONLY if your hearing ability is at or near the same level. Because for me, my speech continues to be a curse.

My speech is usable, but it isn't perfect. Remember, I'm the guy who once asked for a tuna salad hoagie at the deli and instead got two italian hoagies. Nonetheless, I can still get away with using my voice if I have to.

Unfortunately, my hearing ability is still around post level. (That's post as in deaf as a post.)

And, as always, my prelingually deaf wife -- who speaks nowhere near as well as I do --continues to COMMUNICATE with hearing people ten times better than her idiotic husband.

I'm an idiot because each time I open up my yap it erases the Mental Note To Self: I'm Talking to a Deaf Guy program in the average hearing person's brain.

Most hearing people talk slowly and clearly, or write on paper, until I open my big mouth. That's when they suddenly assume that my hearing ability must correspond with my speech ability. Then they go ahead and talk at 10,000 words per minute. I'm left scratching my head.

Meanwhile, my wife, who sticks to pen and paper, gets to the point and communicates 100% effectively in half the time it takes me to play verbal volleyball.

It happens all the time and it happened again yesterday when we had some repairmen working around the house. After my flapping lips caused yet another round of confusion, my wife took over the discussion via her trusty pen and paper. I backed off and just wrote the check when the guys were done.

That's it. Feh. I'm shutting my trap.

Parents of Deaf Children

A resource page for parents of deaf children on Mark Drolsbaugh's Deaf Culture Online website