will my family ever understand my child is not broken.....

by marina
(santa barbara)

My husband and I are hearing. I have lost a great deal of my hearing due to constant ear infections and operations. In 2011 we welcomed our beautiful son Theo into the world. He immediately failed his newborn screening. Everywhere we went people could not give an honest answer. "He has a cold its fine we will test again." " Maybe my machine is broken we will retest later." My all time favorite is "I don't know what's wrong with him I have never seen this before. " I wanted somebody to just be honest and tell me what's going on. We went to LA and finally got some answers. Theo is profoundly deaf in one ear and severe to profound in other. He received top of the line hearing aides and they help a great deal.

Then there was the topic of CI. We researched and researched and finally came to an agreement not to Implant Theo. My child is not broken he is perfect. If someday he can decide on his own accord to be implanted then we will support him to the fullest extent. That is his choice. Never do I want my child to think there is something wrong with him. I am aware that language is learned in the first few years, which is why we are all learning ASL. My husband and I moved to a place with a wonderful preschool that can help him with sign, speech and hearing aid care.

I have heard success stories about the CI and horror stories. Technology is not always reliable.... what if his CI broke and he never learned sign. Hearing parents of deaf children go the CI route because it makes their lives easier. I met a mom who was so proud of herself that her kids had perfect speech and were developing nicely with their CI. What bothered me was she never learned a stitch of ASL. Those children will be helpless of that machine in their head breaks. Then what.... no way to communicate.

My family does not understand our decision. They think Theo is broken and needs to be fixed. My mother says things like "you want him to be helpless" . " you are happy he is deaf". I would not say I am happy or sad. I am proud of my son and think he is perfect. This has been the hardest decision I have ever made. My family may never accept our decision. I fear that I may have forever lost my bond to my mother. If I had to choose over losing my relationship with my mom or my son growing up confident and proud..... I choose my son.

I feel we are blessed to be welcomed into such as beautiful community. The deaf community is unlike any other. My husband and I fell in love immediately. My family has a different point of view. To them the community brainwashed my husband and I. My family thinks poorly towards the deaf community. I believe that to be from bad information. I don't know how they can feel this way. The deaf community is not the reason why we chose not to implant Theo. Even if we had implanted Theo he would still be welcomed by the deaf community. My husband family has taken the opposite approach. The whole family is racing to learn ASL. The cousins, grandma and grandpa, and is aunt and uncle all learning ASL. His cousins think it is the coolest thing ever. They love to sign and have taken a great interst in Theo and the deaf community.

Keep in mind I having nothing against the CI. I just think one should be confident in there decision and it should be their own nobody else's. If you are a hearing parent of a deaf child.... take the time to adapt to their world. If you implant your child teach them ASL. Teach your child to be proud of who they are. Don't take the easy way out and force your kid to speak and read lips. There is so much joy in being part of the deaf community as well as hearing community. Embrace both and love your child Unconditionally.

Theo mommy is so proud of you. I hope you know just how much we love you.

Comments for will my family ever understand my child is not broken.....

Click here to add your own comments

Jan 16, 2020
Bluehost coupon code NEW
by: Anonymous

Get your Bluehost coupon code and Bluehost information on the following link. https://www.develvo.net/

Jan 19, 2018
norton.com/setup NEW
by: norton.com/setup

Great post full of useful tips! If you didn’t understand something that was discussed. We provide tech support information and give the better solutions to customers.So bring it up and comment us by visiting

Jun 09, 2017
hubofleather.com NEW
by: joycesantiago

I read the complete article and I Found it very informative as well as the writer convey his message in a great manner.https://www.hubofleather.com/product/chris-pratt-star-lord-jacket-guardians-of-the-galaxy-2/

Oct 22, 2016
www.halloweendayquotes.net NEW
by: www.halloweendayquotes.net


Oct 22, 2016
No.1 Astrologer in India NEW
by: Ravikant Shastri ji


Oct 21, 2016
Astrologer RK Swami Ji No.1 services in India NEW
by: Rk Swami Ji


Sep 04, 2016
Unlimited By the space NEW
by: Graham Duto

Allow me to share something special about these kind of process and networks. With http://www.essayagents.com you can skyrocket your research paper skills.

Apr 28, 2016
Vashikaran Specialist +918557850786 NEW
by: Vashikaran Specialist


Apr 12, 2016
TS Junior Inter Results 2016 NEW
by: Anonymous



Dec 23, 2015
get your come back to my lost lover NEW
by: Pandit Mukesh Gaur

Great Post !! This is inspiring posting on the topic and worth learning for me. Such a useful site.


Dec 01, 2015
Beautiful post NEW
by: S K Shastri

Thanks for share this type of enlightening information. I like it .

Nov 02, 2015
I was looking for that kind NEW
by: Anonymous

I was looking for that kind of knowledge! The result will be positive always!


Nov 01, 2015
mintdesign NEW
by: Anonymous

The whole family is racing to learn ASL. The cousins, grandma and grandpa, and is aunt and uncle all learning ASL. His cousins think it is the coolest thing ever.

Oct 16, 2015
80s Clothing NEW
by: 80s Clothing

I am very glad it is now free to everyone. This is a decision that really helps to create more equality for everyone.80s Clothing

Oct 16, 2015
80s Clothing NEW
by: 80s Clothing

I am very glad it is now free to everyone. This is a decision that really helps to create more equality for everyone.80s Clothing

Oct 15, 2015
Useful post In this guide, NEW
by: Anonymous

Useful post In this guide, everything is worth doing to providing great searching volume to the readers.

The Walking Dead Rick Grimes jacket

Oct 15, 2015
Vashikaran Specialist NEW
by: Anonymous

Its very nice post . I like it so much .Thanks for share this kind of informative post.
Vashikaran Specialist
Vashikaran Mantra
Vashikaran Specialist Baba
Blackmagic Specialist
Lost love Back Solution
Love Marriage Specialist
Love Guru Specialist

Oct 14, 2015
Vashikaran Prediction NEW
by: Anonymous

Thanks for your efforts to making this type of informative post .Describing of content is state to the point.Appreciate to your work & keep posting .
vashikaran specialist
Vashikaran Mantra in hindi
Black Magic Specialist
Love problem solution
Vashikaran Mantra for Husband

Oct 06, 2015
Blackmagic Specialist in chandigarh NEW
by: Anonymous

Nice article it is . Thanks for share it . I like this information .keep posting.
Blackmagic Specialist In Chandigarh

Oct 06, 2015
Good post NEW
by: Bernice Hettinger

You have a great site!
I really would like to place some ads on your site, is it possible? My site is Scary Halloween Costumes and I think your blog is an ideal place for adveritising.
Please, answer me and we'll discuss all details, I will pay nice money and really want to be on yout site!

Many thanks for answering!

Oct 05, 2015
Great NEW
by: Sourabh

This is a very informative article for me.
Diwali Dhamaka Offers

Sep 29, 2015
Lipo battery manufacturers NEW
by: Anonymous

its very nice to see this post. Which i like examining intriguing articles and your weblog exceeds the anticipations each and every time.Lipo battery manufacturers

Sep 21, 2015
Blackmagic Specialist NEW
by: Anonymous

This is an informative post . Thanks for share it .

Sep 20, 2015
burner NEW
by: Anonymous

I want to say that in my short comment. Your article gives us really great information about interview. Obviously we know that what i say and what i want to say about others.burner

Sep 19, 2015
Awesome post NEW
by: Abhishek

That was an interesting post and i admire this blog.
Jabong Discount Coupon

Sep 03, 2015
OPJS University has been NEW
by: Anonymous

OPJS University has been established in the year 2013, by an Act (Act No. 19 of 2008) Act No.-16 of 2013, of the Rajasthan State Legislature and is
approved under section 2(f) of UGC Act 1956 vested with the authority to award Degrees, Diplomas and Certificates.
Best university in rajasthan
Phd Courses
Best pharmacy college in rajasthan

Sep 01, 2015

This is a very good article for me.
Hostgator Discount

Aug 31, 2015
Great NEW
by: Sourabh

This is a very good article for me.
Hostgator Discount Coupon Codes

Aug 24, 2015
Tranco Transmission Specialist of Albuquerque NEW
by: Anonymous

Excellent article. Your web page routine is very brilliant. I adore that totally. Go on the wonderful do the trick in addition to preserve creating.Tranco Transmission Specialist of Albuquerque

Aug 21, 2015
top eleven hacks NEW
by: how to get top eleven hack

You should visit here to learn how to get top eleven hack which will let you to play and enjoy this game without paying any amount and at zero penny.

Aug 10, 2015
This piece of writing presents understanding yet. NEW
by: Anonymous

This piece of writing presents understanding yet. Thanks much I’m interested in more readings.

The Man From Uncle Jacket

Aug 07, 2015
I like to read about current updates NEW
by: Anonymous

I like to read about current updates and that’s cloud be understand easily here. Thanks A lot Amazing writing!

Visit Website

Aug 05, 2015
this post such an interesting NEW
by: Anonymous

this post such an interesting for learning new things. Positive site!

more info

Aug 04, 2015
Please do keep the same job NEW
by: Anonymous

Please do keep the same job of fantastic sharing. Fantastic blog post from you!

Ant Man Leather Jacket

Jul 27, 2015
Education NEW
by: Anonymous

I approximating to your blog extremely much its attractive for me. I want do my essay paper with astounding reduction.

Jul 27, 2015
Education NEW
by: Anonymous

I approximating to your blog extremely much its attractive for me. I want a href="http://www.ordercollegepapers.com/help-me-do-my-essay"> do my essay paper with astounding reduction

Jul 26, 2015
That’s what I need as well NEW
by: Anonymous

That’s what I need as well as the time spend indeed useful for me. Well done!

Sherlock Wool Coat

Jul 25, 2015
Interesting written NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi marina! Interesting written on "will-my-family-ever-understand-my-child-is-not-broken" and I like to your post very much its pretty for me. I want someone to write my essay with amazing discount.

Jul 15, 2015
will my family ever understand my child is not broken..... NEW
by: Anonymous

We capitalize the word "Deaf" to suggest that an individual is "culturally Deaf". Meaning that s/he is incredibly powerfully related to with the Deaf Community, aligned with the Deaf lifestyle and traditions, and has been since a young age. (Younger than sixteen.) ASL is that this person's natural language. S/he could or might not recognize abundant English. S/he is also completely deaf or ready to hear somewhat-- with or while not hearing aids. This person is usually terribly happy to be Deaf, well-balanced, and s/he doesn't see her-/he as disabled in any method or in would like of "remedy"

Jul 09, 2015
Fashion Style NEW
by: Anonymous

Culture should be good as we know that we are trying to get some thing different where is no buddy can change the world Emma Swan Jacket

Jul 06, 2015
My Awesome Jackets NEW
by: Anonymous

Fashion is the only way you can change your attitude and other relevant things where you can do the best Get my leather

Jun 12, 2015
Good post NEW
by: Theodore Zulauf

Hello! Many thanks for your site!
Could you help me, please? I want to share your article on my site Findema is it possible?

I will link for you as an author! Thanks for answering!

May 02, 2015
Not Broken NEW
by: Michelle Elizabeth

Sometimes mothers take their child disabilities as a big problem. I think the technology and techniques are much advance now. It is not difficult for deaf persons to live a good and normal life. Sign language has its own importance as hearing aids are not much reliable. You can have essaycenter essay for more help.

Apr 24, 2015
My Family NEW
by: JenniferK

Its very difficult to survive and face the community with disabilities. But it is good that you did not take it negative or make it a weakness. It is good idea to make child go for sign, speech learning. Technology is not reliable every time and a deaf person must learn sign language to face the world. There are some essay writing services available to special students.

Mar 20, 2015
be confident NEW
by: Shelly

This story is really an inspiration for all the parents who are planning to do CI. I completely agree with your decision and hope one day your family members will understand itWeb Based EHR. I should say you need to keep up this courage and success will be in your path.

Apr 02, 2013
Thank you NEW
by: Ashly

Thank you so much for your story. It makes me feel like im not crazy. My son was born 5 months ago and was profoundly deaf in both ears. I dont want to do the CI. There is nothing wrong with my son. My family doesnt understand our choice in this. And i feel like i need to do it because they arent racing to learn ASL. I dont want him to feel like an outcast by his own family. So thank you for showing me i am making the right choice.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Evolution of a Cochlear Implant Attitude.